It is now a little more than a year since I graduated from college and left the protective environment of a student to pursue my dream of competing in the London Olympics. The last year, on the whole, has gone very quickly, especially the last five months, and has not been without its challenges. Moving home after four years of living away took a little getting used to, probably for my parents too, who have been very supportive. It was also not easy at first witnessing my friends, embarking upon careers in London, living together, earning and taking a very different path to myself. The separation can be a little lonely but I do not regret my choice, for that is what it is, my choice. In fact, I know several of them, chained to their desks, are envious of my journey and would much rather be embarking on something similar.
The year has not panned out quite how I anticipated, that is for sure. If you had asked me a year ago what my situation would be like today, my answer would have been probably something like this: I would be in the top 100 of the world rankings, having qualified for the European Championships, have a flexible part-time job which allowed me to go away when I needed to, but employed me for about 20-30 hours a week when I was home so I could support myself, and I would have been added to the British Fencing Olympic Pathway Programme (funded athletes), on the back of my results. The reality is very different, I unfortunately have not met the targets I set for myself and consequently will not be competing in the upcoming European Championships. Similarly, having done a little of this and that throughout the year, most lately tutoring, to keep myself afloat I still do not have a part-time job (a real priority now) and I have received no approaches from British Fencing. I am outside of the system, doing it the way fencers had to in years gone by, which ultimately is harder, but the ball is in my court, I have to do it, I cannot complain. And thus the work goes on daily, behind the scenes, in the pursuit of my dream.
The year has not been without successes, most notably my double Commonwealth Gold last October, and another highlight was winning Essex Sports Personality of the Year. Furthermore I know I have improved immensely. My conditioning has never been as good as it is now. Similarly I have much greater control in my fencing and know I am a much better athlete and competitor. The reality is that it has taken much more time than I thought. At the beginning of the season, actually only my first full international season, I had false ideas about my readiness. I was not at the level I thought I was, and had not made enough progress in the off-season. A change of coach in Easter has reinvigorated me and in the second half of the season, the first half of the Olympic qualifying cycle, my fencing has steadily improved. Furthermore I am enjoying it more than I have before as I have adjusted to this lifestyle.
Not qualifying for the Europeans and being passed over for the World University Games has brought a premature end to my season, but that does not mean that it is now holiday time, just because I will not be competing for a couple of months. Now is actually the time when the hard work begins, where changes of technique are possible and the greatest leaps made. Not being at the Europeans makes it a little more difficult to reach London, but not that much more; with the right amount of hard work, focus and ultimately experience I will be ready next year. I am fencing well, really well, I simply just need to remember how to win and close out more fights. That is all. I feel as if I've had a good foundation year and now I have a springboard to jump off and reach new heights. Bring it on.
